Don’t Negotiate…Facilitate
By Mike Myatt, Chief Strategy Officer, N2growth
There are many that would say negotiation is just part of doing business, and that you cannot be successful as an executive or entrepreneur without becoming a great negotiator. So my question to you is this: Are you a great negotiator? To be considered a savvy negotiator is to be held in high esteem in the world of business, and in some circles is worn as a proud badge of honor. If you possess a reputation as a shrewd negotiator you are feared in the board room as an adversary to be reckoned with. While many a consultant, author and trainer have made personal fortunes teaching the finer points of negotiation, it is my belief that if you find yourself negotiating you have already missed the boat. In today’s post I’ll share why negotiation is inherently flawed as a business practice…
While I have mediated labor disputes, closed nine-figure transactions, verbally sparred with street vendors from Mexico to Dubai, put multi-lateral international agreements together, have been married for 25 years, and have raised two children, I don’t consider myself a great negotiator. I do however consider myself to be an excellent facilitator who attempts at all costs never to negotiate.
As I stated in the opening paragraph if you find yourself negotiating you’ve already lost. Negotiating is not an art to be mastered, rather it is a sloppy approach to be avoided. If you find yourself negotiating you will find yourself posturing, spinning, manipulating, being slick and even deceitful. Negotiation by its nature is a zero-sum game (my gain is your loss). In other words, the goal at the outset of a negotiation is to benefit from someone else’s loss, which I find to be an unacceptable premise for doing business.
Sure, there are those who say that win-win scenarios are altruistic fantasies that don’t exist, but I’m here to tell you that all good deals are in fact win-win scenarios. Negotiation is adversarial, and I’m all about expanding relationships and spheres of influence, not shrinking them by creating enemies. When I’ve wrapped-up a deal with someone I want them to be excited about doing business with me again, as opposed to spending hours in reflective thought regretting the day we met. When I hear someone reminisce about the great deal they just negotiated all I can think of is, will the deal stick, and even if it does get traction, what about the bad taste left in the mouth of the other party? While it may seem tempting to exploit the immediacy of a situation or circumstance, the long-term consequences of such actions are detrimental to your reputation and credibility.
My clients don’t hire me to stick-it to someone, but rather to facilitate a desirable outcome that achieves a stated objective, while reflecting well on their brand and adding value for all concerned parties. So, if you don’t negotiate what do you do? Look to create opportunities for others, to add-value, to align interests, to understand needs, to facilitate, enable, educate, and to inform. Don’t be lazy and trick somebody just because you’re smart and you can…rather be a professional, do your homework and help people attain their goals & objectives. It is more fun, more rewarding, and definitely more profitable…What say you?
[...] you’ve read thus far even remotely resonates with you, then I would suggest reading “Don’t Negotiate…Facilitate.” Teach your sales force to become true professionals focused on helping their clients for all [...]
Completely agree!
I would love to see an article which mentions the importance of ‘quality’ and ‘quantity’. Hope you got what am trying to say.
I’ve started as a young entrepreneur right after my graduation. With freelance experience during my grad days…I started the private limited company.
It never took off. Reasons being many.
#1) No Management Skills
#2) Weak Man Power
#3) Preferring Quality over Quantity – both in standards & delivery.
Company is still registered. But, am sitting down at home taking no action. People close to me want me to end this here & look for a job. But, I have already chosen my path.
I like how the Harvard approach (Getting to Yes, Getting Past No) distinguished position-based negotiation vs interest-based negotiation. To see that negotiation is a zero-sum game is to misunderstand what is actually going on since it’s based on the fallacy that win-lose is optimal.
Hi Jason:
Thanks for your comment. While I appreciate your position, closing a positional gap can easily turn into an interest based struggle the minute the “discussion” turns into a “negotiation.” What sounds great in theory is often not the case in reality.
Based upon decades of experience, the bottom line for me is this…I know how it feels when someone is “negotiating” with me vs. how it feels when someone is having a “discussion” with me. They are not one in the same, and the latter is definitely preferable over the former.
We’ll have to agree to disagree on this one Jason…Best wishes for continued success Sir.
[...] you’ve read thus far even remotely resonates with you, then I would suggest reading “Don’t Negotiate…Facilitate.” Teach your sales force to become true professionals focused on helping their customers [...]
Facilitating is nice except when the other side is negotiating. Consider school districts signing contracts with teachers’ unions.
Hi John:
It's been my experience that you cannot lose a negotiation you don't become a party to. When a one sided negotiation is taking place the other party cannot prevail as they are simply negotiating against themselves. Don't get sucked into the flawed logic that negotiation is a tool for the powerful. I have on more than a few occasions participated in resolving labor disputes with unions – I have always been successful in these endeavors, yet I have never negotiated as part of the process. This is more than a semantical debate – it requires a fundamental paradigm shift in thinking. I hope these thoughts help John…